I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
