Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
