I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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