her vagine was all disorganized.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
