Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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