Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
