I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize