this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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