oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize