I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
