Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
