Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
