And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Found the puke drawer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
