The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
