You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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