There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
