Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We're too hungover to prance.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
