Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize