White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
