She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My ATM looks so different sober.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
