It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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