JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
