i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
