so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
