I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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