how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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