I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have post one night stand depression
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize