brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
