Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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