CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
