I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
