just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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