Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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