He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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