So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Congratulations! We have a period
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