i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize