im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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