Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
