I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
