So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
