The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We left the knife in your bed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
