I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
