Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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