walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
