I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
