you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
