So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize