After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize