I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dear god my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
