we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
