So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
