Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
