i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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