so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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