my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
tell your sister to shave her snatch
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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