have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Im part way to drunk.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
