is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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