Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize